It's a little tiring, even if you like to talk as much as I do.
So given those statistics, I was a little stunned a couple of years ago when 4 of 8 came to me with a confession to make.
"Mom," she began nervously, "I need to tell you something. I was really mad a couple of nights ago about having to wear hearing aids. I know I'm supposed to be grateful, but I was just mad that I have to wear them and so I took them out and I threw them on my desk and then I...I...then I....I said the very worst word at them...I said the 'F' word at them."
Her gray-blue eyes watered and looked anxiously for my reaction.
My mommy brain took a deep breath and fixed an expression of neutrality on my face. Knowing how hard we have worked to get basic vocabulary into this kid, I was trying to figure out where she might have encountered the 'F' word. I was pretty sure we hadn't covered it in our therapy sessions. Her adorable little buddy across the street didn't seem to traffic in sailor cursing. Hmmmmmm....
"The 'F' word, huh? Wow, you must have been pretty frustrated. So, tell me, what is the 'F' word?"
"You know, Mom, it's the very worst word. It's the worst word you can say. My friend told me that the dirtiest word is the 'F' word."
"Well, yeah, Baby, but what word is the 'F' word?"
Her eyes started to leak those tightly held tears. "Oh, Mom, you know. I don't want to say it again...."
Deep breath.
"I threw the hearing aids on the desk and then I said at them...I said....'hate'."
Yes, Baby, that is the dirtiest word. Hate.
Aww...made me teary eyed! Thanks for sharing that moment with us...
ReplyDeleteThat made me laugh and cry at the same time.
ReplyDeleteagreed .. it is the worst word ..
ReplyDeleteRight after the original 9/11, there was much talk on the air about hating certain people as if it were suddenly, because of one atrocious act, alright to hate them .. I wrote a poem titled, "I will not teach my children to hate"
sadly, hate is a taught value ..
Oh! That is so sweet. I had to read it to my husband.
ReplyDeleteThat is truly one of the sweetest things I've ever heard. My own children have said the same thing about "that" word. I love the innocence that childhood brings.
ReplyDeleteI feel so grateful that my children's ears have been sheltered enough that their "dirty" vocabulary is very limited. But I would have to agree with 4of8 that hate is the dirtiest word.
ReplyDeleteI didn't realize how differently hearing impaired children learn words, thanks for enlightening me. :) Have a great day!
That is so sweet, Julie!
ReplyDeleteEven at 28, if that very naughty word comes out of my mouth I still cringe.
ReplyDeleteOh My. I laughed, I cried, I read it again. This is a print it out and put it on the fridge kind of post. I was just teaching my son not to say hate this week. (No honey, you don't Hate science, you dislike it.) I said it was a strong word, but 4 of 8 said it best, it's the very worst word.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Carolynn
Oh that is just so cute. What a wise little girl! My son has a similar loss to 4 of 8. We had to teach him every word and found it exhausting. I have also found that he finds reading difficult for the same reasons and now we are learning spelling in the same way. Phew! That has been hard work. I also find that he has difficulty learning names for the same reason which can make social situations difficult. However, I would do it all again, because he is such a joy to live with. As 4 of 8 is I am sure!
ReplyDeleteThis post is so so so applicable for our family too. Kinda funny that when I slip up and use a grown-up bad word our kids don't think a thing.
ReplyDeleteBut if I say 'hate' or 'stupid', they get really upset.
Bad bad words.
The most hurtful words.
Great post.
love ~kc
HA! that is so cute....4 of 8 is right! that is the worst word...so sweet that she had tears in her eyes...you are a good mommy that your children have such a great conscience...we pray for that in our kids! :)
ReplyDeleteI don't blame her one little bit for throwing down her hearing aids...I've worked with lots of kids and most of them are much more frustrated with the work it takes to hear and learn than the actual physical hearing aid (and all the frustrations that come along with that)....I so wish technology would get to the point that we could make hearing "normal" for all these kids (and adults)...not sure that is going to happen, but I'm praying for it!
Oh my, bless her heart! LOL!
ReplyDeleteAwww that cute, sweet and funny! Poor thing!
ReplyDeleteYou should be so very proud of 4 of 8...not only did she feel remorse after using the "F word" but she felt secure enough in your love for her to come and confess it to you. What a sweet moment to cherish!
ReplyDeleteLove that! Words matter! Thanks 4 of 8 for a beautiful lesson, thanks Octamom for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThis totally reminds me of my son. He picked up on the word stupid from some other kids. Not a bad word, but sounded yucky coming from my 2 year old. He would always correct people when he heard them say it, telling them that was a bad word. I guess he overheard me tell my husband it was the "s" word one time when my son corrected him. A few days later he came running up to me very upset. He had been watching "Arthur" on TV, which seemed harmless. He said..."Mom, Arthur just said the "F" word!!!" Really?? I used the handy DVR to rewind the episode and sure enough, Arthur had said stupid! What were the chances he would confuse f for s??? Too funny!!
ReplyDeleteOh, that is very tender. She chose a very strong word. Didn't you just want to scoop her up in your arms and give her a big hug?
ReplyDeletehate is such a strong word, one that i think we callously toss around too often these days. that is so incredibly wonderful that she has such a giant heart.
ReplyDeleteawwwwww. Sometimes, our senses get in the way of seeing what really is bad. When they come easily, words are just words. They have more value when they have to worked so hard for and the harder worked, the more precious and understood. Thank you 4 or 8.
ReplyDeleteawww
ReplyDeletedefinitely a laugh/cry
Julie,
ReplyDeleteYour child is precious and must trust you a lot to talk to you about such strong feelings. I don't blame 4 of 8 for not liking the hearing aids. When my nephew started using them at age 2, they were a mixed blessing. There were plenty of days where he wanted to throw them on the desk, too.
My boys are being raised in a cuss-free home, but they do pick up the occasional pseudo-cuss from friends at school. My kindergartener came home about a month ago giggling about something with his brother. I knew by their hushed tones that something was up. They confided in me. A friend had taught them a bad word. "What is it?" I asked. They giggled. "Boo-tox." What?!? They repeated: BOO-tox! I was still confused. "You know, your rear end is your boo-tox!"
Oh, brother, I thought, it begins...
- Julia
Funny you posting this now, I have been doing a bit of talk with Sarita about language...and that is the core of it, that *H* word, we don't take it lightly, we don't really use it...or so we are trying.
ReplyDeleteSchools, secondary schools here take away so much of the authority a parent has... I had terrible arguments with the school because of the lack of uniform and, above all, the make up thing.
they told me *is not NOT ALLOWED* meaning is not written anywhere they can't have make up...and then Sarita comes and tells me she would be bullied if she doesnt as the others do...
As I said many times to you, you are the most amazing, I find hope and inspiration on you, from my heart.
I sometimes panic because I feel impotent with one child...and yet here you are, with all your might, and still have time for this writing, time for us...
I'm not having a good day today, promise to come back in a better mood.. :)
Lots of love and Hugzzz
Cynthia
Sorry, I had to come back (lack of sleep does that to you when add to physcal chronical pain)
ReplyDeletemore than not to SAY THE WORD, I m trying to teach Sarita not to FEEL that way.
I'm not sure how is it in the US, well, I do know NY and LA because I have friends with kids and they are pretty much the same as here.....
but here the key of the question is that children froma very early age are having cruel feelings...sad.
We need to teach them to erradicate the feeling, much more than the word...
:)
(dont mind me today, I'm not myself, not in a positive day)
What a sweet story. If we could keep them all so innocent, wouldn't this be such a better place for us all? I agree hate is a terrible word, but I'm so glad she wasn't uttering that other *f* word!
ReplyDeleteRoban
Ohhh I love her. I could eat her up. I know firsthand, as my eight-year-old daughter continues to navigate the very same waters due to hearing loss. Hate is treated just as seriously as a cuss word here, so I completely understand her implication. Doesn't make it any less adorable, though.
ReplyDelete*hugs* to her.. and you :)
You made me cry. Out of the mouths of babes come all the important truths in life.
ReplyDeleteOh how sweet! don't you wish everyone would remember such basic truths.
ReplyDeleteAww...you just gotta love that precious girl. I love the innocence of child!!! So refreshing!
ReplyDeleteMrs. Nurse Boy
Awww. Love, love, love that girl. So sweet.
ReplyDeleteThat is a bad word in our house too. ;)
What a sweet, precious child. I wonder what word we would all be saying if we had to wear them at her age?
ReplyDeleteThat's pretty much what my mum taught me and recently I've needed to be teaching it to my kids. No Hate Here, we dont do it, we dont say it, end of story.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweetie:) And how true it is!
ReplyDeletewhat an innocent and beautiful heart. thanks for shairng this.
ReplyDelete