Thursday, November 6, 2008

The Tide of Codependency

I believe it's called a co-dependent relationship.


And I know it's not healthy.



But I knew what I was getting into, I knew that it was a relationship that was bound to be filled with setbacks and mess and obsession.



And now, I just don't see any way out.



I thought I could manage it at first. I just figured that I would be the one in control. I figured I could determine a way to keep the issues contained, that I could be the one to remove the stains of life from a delicate being.



But things have just spiraled. The demands have become greater. And I'm coming to the realization that I can never personally fix all the blemishes, I can never remove all the smudges that this alliance claims are my responsibility to deal with. I know I'm responsible for some of the mess, but so many people have conspired against the ideals I brought to this alliance. It's like a crowd has decided to undo all the effort that has gone into this, like they are set on unraveling and unfolding the layers and details of a fragile liason.



And then, of course, is the jealousy inherent in the relationship itself. If I decide to take a day for myself, to push aside the confines and insistency of this codependency, I return from my sojourn to find things worse off than when I left, the piles of messy accusations greeting me as I walk in the door.



And maybe this is too much information, but this codependent relationship is even beginning to push itself into the bedroom...





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Help! I've fallen under my laundry pile and I can't get up!



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Imagine if I had ignored the laundry for three straight days instead of two...

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And you thought I was going to air my dirty laundry...



Keeping Tide in business,

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49 comments:

  1. LOL funny wanna come to mine while you are at it? I have been asking some of my blogging friends if they would like to guest post on my blog and guess what I want you to if you would like to that is.Let me know if you are interested.
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  2. I totally resemble this post. Maybe you should start a support group, L.A. I would definitely be in it for I, too, have a codependent relationship. And Tide is definitely not going under.
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  3. ROFL you crack me up!!
    I drowned in my laundry pile years ago and am still trying to reach the surface.
    Wonderful post - i have to say i was imagining something entirely different!
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  4. Ahh... I know the feeling (and I only have 3 kiddos to keep in clean clothes.)

    I guess the only way my laundry will stay caught up is if we all spend a few days in the nude (ok, that's not happening)

    I ate a lot of Halloween candy too and don't want to even think about looking at my hips.

    *Side Note*
    Can't remember if I told you that I moved my blog to HERE

    http://nannadays.blogspot.com
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  5. You always have me going. I am learning though that your stories as great as they start are never what they seem to be. he he

    I can imagine that with that many bodies under one roof the days in between laundry are fewer than you would like. Great story!
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  6. I think that I love your blog because your posts are identical to my real life!! Laundry is the ranked among one of most demanding parts of having a large family!UGH!! The second I feel like we have it under control...its bath time again...

    Once at a Beth Moore bible study they were talking about our walk with the Lord being a daily, thing and our spiritual growth being a constant, how we never just are all grown up in the Lord, its a daily constant....for what ever reason all of the sudden I blurted out My "revelation"..."Our walk is like Laundry--its never done"....I was a bit embarrassed when the room full of "empty nesters" erupted into laughter ..you can always count on me if you are looking for depth and insight lol!!
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  7. wow, taking it to the bedroom! That's a great idea. Maybe I could get people to quit making fun of my piles all along the back of the sofa and love seat...

    Only you could make a laundry post exciting :-)
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  8. Too funny! You have an extraordinary flair for making even the most mundane things in life funny. I, too, have such a hard time with the laundry (if only I didn't have to iron everything...) I can't imagine the amount of laundry with 8 instead of 2!
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  9. I love it! I feel the same way so much of the time. I know that if I don't do laundry every day I will be behind forever! Oh the life of a Mom, but none of us would change it!
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  10. My family jokes that the laundry is my "hobby". And yes, it is about the only thing I have time for!
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  11. laundry for 10 people... I'd probably just sit in the middle of it and cry. :-)
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  12. Hey that looks like my bedroom! Other than your clothes are neatly folded on your bed! No fair my are still in laundry baskets on the floor in my bedroom waiting to be folded :)
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  13. I hope you use concentrated detergent.
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  14. So funny! You should see OUR bedroom right now!! LOL Our cat sure does love it when the laundry piles up!!

    It's great fun to actually 'find the time' to go in and fold the laundry that's been suffocating the chase in our bedroom for over a week only to find that we have to re-wash the top layer of clothes because of the mounds of black cat hair that accumulated!! LOL
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  15. That is too funny! I was doing laundry yesterday and I was getting frustrated because I could never see my bed for all the clean laundry. Then I almost blogged about but you beat me to it! Haha!
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  16. A full basket of folded laundry sits for day two on my bedroom floor. The basket in the office is full and the hamper overflows.

    I needed this smile this morning. :)

    Thank you!
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  17. Oh girl... i have no idea how you do this. I only have 3 peoples laundry and yet that makes me have a panic attack... It is crazy how much laundry that is...
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  18. Oh my you always make me laugh!!!!

    Love the laundry pic!!! Yes I have a think for laundry (I do 6 wash every day here and I find it relaxing yes I know I'm strange!)
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  19. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD LOOOOOORRRRD.

    I admired you for your amazing MOMMI-ISMS.....but THIS takes that cake to an entirely different level.
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  20. you are awesome. i'm impressed you fold all of it. we either hang it or live out of baskets. oh and of course climb over mountains of it. since it's been way longer than 2 days at our house. SCARRRRYYY!
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  21. That's funny. The big teetering stack of white T-Shirts could have come right out of my house.
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  22. P.S. I just signed up to follow your blog I love it :)
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  23. Well, that's your problem . . . you're folding it! You're supposed to sort laundry into piles then shove them sloppily into drawers.

    What about those eight slaves living there? They need to hop to it and give you a break!

    P.s. My bedroom is black and white toile with green accents too!
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  24. I read your post at just the right moment... as I was debating moving the laundry off the back of the couch and into our bedroom. LOL I am so glad that other mother's can deal with the never ending laundry hydra and still keep their sense of humor!
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  25. And I thought I had it bad. Oh wow. :)
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  26. Wow - 8Mama's taking the kid (candy) gloves off in my comment section (hahahahaha...)

    And I'm feelin' ya with this one, sistah. Littlest one's diaper got a little overly wet this morning, and let's just say I changed her quickly because, well, I haven't done laundry in a few days and I'm running short on the supply of clean jeans myself...
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  27. No matter the laundry pile, you gotta roll with the

    ............tide :)
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  28. Testing, testing, is this thing on? Is my comment actually going to make it to your blog this time instead of getting rejected?

    I cannot IMAGINE all of the laundry for 10 people. I have a hard time keeping up with laundry for 3...but that might just be because I do NOT LIKE doing laundry.

    Best wishes on your laundry issue. Too bad there's no cure other than going naked and then you wouldn't be able to post pictures on your blog anymore. On second thought, keep doing laundry and we'll keep enjoying all your great pics!
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  29. I'm doing laundry right this very minute! And guess what I did for the first time ever - I just shoved my kids' pajamas in their pajama drawer, without folding them first. I figured, they are just pajamas. Why do they have to be folded nicely? And why wouldn't it be okay to wear the helicopter shirt with the Spiderman pants? They don't have to match.

    Thanks for a good laugh, and a chance to commisserate (since we have so much laundry in common!).
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  30. It never ends, and I can probably count on both hands the number of times I have ever been completely caught up. There's only 5 of us, I can't even imagine being in your shoes. Anytime I see the Duggar's laundry room I drool. Maybe if I had multiple machines I could manage to stay on top of it. Maybe.
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  31. LOL! That was great.......let me tell you, I don't miss the days when my girls didn't know how to fold and put away their own laundry. :)
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  32. LOL! That was great.......let me tell you, I don't miss the days when my girls didn't know how to fold and put away their own laundry. :)
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  33. I finally got a system for keeping laundry (generally) in check after 14 years of marriage. I think I even posted about it last winter. It's just crazy.
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  34. You are SO HYSTERICAL, Octamom. I love reading your posts. Even the realities of life take on personality. Thanks for brightening the evening! :)

    Oh yeah, and I SOOOOOOO know about those piles of laundry. Whew they pile up if you leave them for even one day! lol It's just ONE of the joys of large families.
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  35. Perfect timing, as I spent much of this evening working on my own laundry pile. And I only do the laundry for three of us! (The boys do their own.)
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  36. I just KNEw this one was going to be unexpected. Thank you for airing your clean laundry. :) And to think you do even more than me. :)
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  37. I can't imagine the laundry that goes through your house! I thought I did a lot of laundry. Yipes!
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  38. You got nothing on my laundry over here....you would think I would learn from letting it pile...but week after week I do just that...and the result is literally a mountain! Thank goodness for my hubby who helps get it all put away. Or I would completely drown in it.
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  39. You fold laundry? Do you have to wash it too, or do you have kids trained to run the washer and dryer? My oldest 5 can wash and dry clothes, but most of them have no idea where the clothes belong or who's they are.

    My 12 yr old sorts and folds the girls clothes, I sort and fold the boys clothes and mine and hubby's and hubby folds the towels and gets them put away.

    My kids and hubby rarely put their clothes away. I have to put their stuff in their drawers myself. If I don't they'll wear it from the baskets- no problem.
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  40. I CAN NOT even IMAGINE the laundry you have (you MUST have 2 dryers!!)
    I was out yesterday all day(class field trip) and now have 5 loads to do today! argh!! I asked hubs when I arrived home - did you do any laundry - he completely ignored me (HUMF)!

    Love your toile pillows!! I have pink toile in daughter's room and black toile in baby girls room!!
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  41. Just came over from Mozi Esmé... congrats on your blog award. I will have to come spend more time when I can stay a bit longer.
    Laundry... it would be great if it did itself.
    ToOdLeS.ShEiLA
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  42. look up "Family Closet". It saved my life!
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  43. Ha! That was funny. OMG - I can't even keep up with the laundry for my family of FOUR. I don't blame you for falling down and not being able to get up! LOL

    debcny
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  44. That's great! I can almost see you under there;) LOL
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  45. oh you are so funny and clever
    as the youngest of ten, i shutter when my mother tells me she did muliple loads of laundry every day ...every day of the week
    yikes
    she says luckily she liked doing laundry

    there was a counter off the main path in the kitchen and clothes were always there and you would stop by and pick up you clothes -and go put them away
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  46. CONGRATULATIONS on receiving the Post of the Day Award from the Rising Blogger!

    You can read about it here:http://www.therisingblogger.com/2008/11/18/octamom-the-musings-of-a-mother-to-a-multitude/

    Please contact me via email for more details.

    JHS
    The Rising Blogger
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  47. Sadly, so true. I feel it's a relationship where I can never win. But those towels do smell nice coming out of the drier. Don't they?
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  48. Ack! Laundry is the bane of my existence.

    It's always with trepidation that I accept the hand -me-downs others love to pass onto us. No so much because they aren't welcoeme or needed--but mostly because they just turn into more laundry to take care of.

    Our well recently went dry and the 7 of us had no water for a month. I made all of my kids wear the same clothes, for several days in a row, until they were visibly dirty or clearly el stinko---and it was one of the best times of my life! We had almost no laundry!!!! Now? Our water's been on for nearly a week and the laundry mountain has reappeared as if the enchantment had been lifted. *sigh*
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